Two weeks ago after spending a very nice Sunday afternoon in a well known flower farm, my boyfriend and I in our way back to Jhongli decided to stop by Longtan county where the Lunar festivities were taking place. It was a warm and beautiful night with a full moon in the best of her garments witnessing the celebrations. The crowd gathered joyfully by the Longtan artificial lake to send up to the skies their wishes written down in colorful paper lanterns. Even though, I have been in Taiwan for three and a half years, I never had the chance to experience this very unique festivity so I was specially excited by the prospect of sending a lantern myself.
After observing the fireworks and listening to some of the traditional shows, we went to the vendors to purchase a lantern. Since, red is the lucky color in Chinese culture, this was my choice. I wrote down my wishes, say a small pray to the God I believe in and send my lantern to the infinite, we stayed by the lake until the lantern was completely invisible and then returned home with our hopes in high.
3 comentarios:
Writer: Monica Bei (Aleli Damiano)
Reader: Meredith Lee (Meredith Rhosar)
Editor: Jocelyn Yu (Meimeiryo Littlebird)
Organizer: Judy Ting (Judy Meiler)
This comment is also posted on Monica’s blog as feedback.
The dialogue
[19:07]Meimeiryo Littlebird: please tell us ur story^^
[19:07]Aleli Damiano: about my news report, I wanted to present something related to my experience in this country...
[19:08]Meimeiryo Littlebird: from an aspect of a foreigner, that's really interesting.
[19:08]Aleli Damiano: and the most recent cultural experience that I had and I enjoyed so much was the lantern festival so I wrote about it
[19:09]Judy Meiler: Yeah, I have the same experience just like Monica, so I know her feeling well!
[19:10]Meimeiryo Littlebird: both sweet experience thoughXDDDDDD
[19:10]Judy Meiler: Ha! Ha! That’s right!
[19:11]Aleli Damiano: I am actually considering to keep an online journal in spanish to describe all my experiences here to let my friends know about it, my friends and family...
[19:11]Meredith Rhosar: Monica I have a question...
[19:11]Aleli Damiano: go ahead Meredith
[19:11]Judy Meiler: That's a really good idea.
[19:12]Meredith Rhosar: I'm afraid that Emma would say it's not like a news...
[19:12]Meredith Rhosar: because you use "I"
[19:12]Meimeiryo Littlebird: more like a journal really.
[19:13]Meimeiryo Littlebird: diary~sorryXD
[19:13]Judy Meiler: Yeah! I think it is more like a journal.
[19:13]Aleli Damiano: yes, I thought about it too, but there are magazines or journals that present stories of individual...
[19:13]Judy Meiler: Yeah, that’s true too.
[19:13]Judy Meiler: So I just don't know what Emma actually wants.
[19:13]Aleli Damiano: I am aware is not a conventional one but I believe it can workk...
[19:14]Judy Meiler: Ok, so it's fine.
[19:14]Meimeiryo Littlebird: well, what monica wrote is more like a column than a news....i thinkXD
[19:14]Judy Meiler: So now we should give some advice!
[19:14]Aleli Damiano: go ahead guys :)
[19:14]Meredith Rhosar: maybe you can play the role as a journalist, and interview yourself!XD
[19:15]Aleli Damiano: good idea Meredith!
[19:15]Meredith Rhosar: "According to Monica..."
[19:15]Meimeiryo Littlebird: hahaha!
[19:15]Meimeiryo Littlebird: it should be according to "Monica and her boyfriend"!XD
[19:16]Judy Meiler: I think Monica can be the journalist to introduce her experience to her own country.
[19:16]Aleli Damiano: hahaha....
[19:16]Meredith Rhosar: good idea!
[19:16]Aleli Damiano: yeah, I like that...
[19:17]Judy Meiler: Ha! Ha! And the readers would think the couple is too sweet!
[19:17]Meredith Rhosar: and you can use your experience as quotation
[19:17]Aleli Damiano: yes...right...
[19:17]Aleli Damiano: editor what about u? ur suggestions?
[19:18]Meimeiryo Littlebird: i'm looking for phrase i like in ur story~
[19:18]Aleli Damiano: ok :) ...btw I love the headline hahaha...
[19:18]Meimeiryo Littlebird: " It was a warm and beautiful night with a full moon in the best of her garments witnessing the celebrations." this one is good!
[19:19]Aleli Damiano: thank u :)
[19:19]Aleli Damiano: appreciate it
[19:19]Judy Meiler: Monica, I think your news is just like a girl in Taiwan, who got the chance to have a part time job in Japan. And she wrote her daily life on her blog to share with us Taiwanese.
[19:20]Aleli Damiano: yeah, I should do that....
[19:20]Judy Meiler: In fact, the girl is very popular on Internet now.
[19:20]Judy Meiler: I think you can try it!
[19:21]Aleli Damiano: yes, I'll do it!
[19:21]Meredith Rhosar: :)
[19:21]Aleli Damiano: questions?
[19:22]Judy Meiler: Let’s take a snapshot!
[19:22]Judy Meiler: Say cheese!
[19:22]Meredith Rhosar: cheese!
[19:22]Meimeiryo Littlebird: 7~~~~~
[19:23]Aleli Damiano: I have taken some...
[19:23]Judy Meiler: Good!
[19:24]Judy Meiler: So what should we do now?
[19:24]Aleli Damiano: is there something else to say about my news?
[19:25]Judy Meiler: I think it is a really good one. I like it.
[19:25]Meimeiryo Littlebird: I think maybe just need to change the form, and the content is good.
[19:25]Aleli Damiano: thanks
[19:25]Judy Meiler: It recalls my memory back! Ha! Ha!
[19:25]Aleli Damiano: ok...u mean to be more like a news report...
[19:26]Judy Meiler: I think maybe you can introduce the festival and quote your experience as examples!
[19:26]Aleli Damiano: ok...got it :)
[19:27]Meimeiryo Littlebird: yap~^^
[19:28]Judy Meiler: You should use your news to make your people know more about Taiwan!
[19:29]Aleli Damiano: yeah, that's the idea
[19:30]Judy Meiler: So should we go on to the next now?
[19:30]Meimeiryo Littlebird: keep working u r doing great~just need some revise.
[19:30]Aleli Damiano: thanks!
[19:30]Judy Meiler: Yeah I think so too. You really do a great job!
[19:31]Aleli Damiano: thanks u all...
[19:31]Judy Meiler: You’re welcome!
The summary of the reader’s and the editor’s suggested revisions
The writer’s news is about her wonderful experience in Lantern festival, taking place in Longtan. Although she has been in Taiwan for three more years, it’s her first time to participate in this unique celebration. She is so excited to write down her wishes on a red lantern and release it to the sky. To her it’s a very special experience in Taiwan that she wants to share with the people in her own country.
First, we all like the headline “Hopes in A Lantern” that can attract readers especially foreigners to know what is the connection between hopes and lantern. It gives us more space to imagine. Second, “It was a warm and beautiful night with a full moon in the best of her garments witnessing the celebrations.” We all think it is appropriate to be the leading sentence to bring us into her news, because it is poetic and the image is beautiful. We seem to be on the spot, enjoying the same celebration with her. Last but not least, her news’s style is more like a personal journal that we can’t know exactly whether it is qualified to be news or not. We think it is better to introduce the Lantern festival and use her experience as examples. Just like a Taiwanese girl who gets a chance to have the part time job in Japan, introducing Japanese culture and writing her daily life on her blog to share with us. The girl is very popular on Internet now and many newspapers ask her to write on-line news for them. We believe it is a good model for her to learn from.
A brief comment on the entire article with respect to organization, length, logic, and style
The whole news is very brief but clear that we can turn into the situation and share the writer’s excitement together easily. She is like a guide leading us into an adventure step by step through her words. But if she can revise a little about her writing style like we have mentioned above, the news can attract more people and make them more near to “hope”.
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